Friends

Friends: Relationships come in all shapes and sizes and configurations, and friendship – that is a one-on-one experience. It can expand to one-on-many, of course, like when we have our group of friends from high school, or our buddies from college.

Friendship Is Built Over Time

Yet, the deepest relationships are those built conversation by conversation, experience by experience, like grains of sand that build the beach we know we can always return to for rest and replenishment.

True friendship is the beach that, beyond all the accolades and titles and external signs of failure or success, receives and accepts you for who and what you are no matter what. These are the friends who listen to your story of happiness or pain, nod their heads, and say, “Yes, that is what happened. And you are still here. I am still here. And I care for you no matter what.”

“Let’s take a walk together near the ocean shore
Hand in hand you and I
Let’s cherish every moment we have been given
The time is passing by… “

– From “Cherish” by Kool & The Gang
https://youtu.be/s09LuDYX12g

The Gift of Witness

I know a group of friends who are like that with each other. They have been together at least since college, some reaching back to childhood. Life had scattered them to all ends of the earth over time, yet somehow in the later years of their careers brought them all within 50 miles of each other. They reconnected, a few at a time, and now gather as a group almost every month.

I see this around me in many people and groups. Each time there is a different story. Each gathering you can sense the flow and weight of life as time moves forward. Now they look toward the years past the work-for-family-support years.

Contemplating with Friends

As I move closer to completing my 6th decade, I too am examining –

  • What is important to keep moving forward in my life?
  • Who is in my life that I can depend on?
  • How do I want my life to be in the next decades?
  • What do I want to spend my time on that fills my heart and soul?

These are questions that can be posed while a dear friend walks quietly beside you, listening and contemplating with you. These are questions whose answers lie deep in the heart – answers which often are tempered by the reality of physical conditions, family commitments, relationships. Those things provide the perimeters of our existence – the space in which we allow ourselves to define our daily experiences.

Back to Basics NDW 2015 DSC07880fb

Back to Basics with Neale Donald Walsch – photo copyright 2015 Baylan Megino

And somewhere, when we look at everything closely enough through the lens of the heart, we can find that beach waiting.

Because I look around and see contrasts, things that are NOT what I will allow in my life.

  • What relationship worth keeping would willfully require one to live in pain in order to be in it?
  • What work worth pursuing would require us to continually cover the skills and talents – the Brilliance that we possess?

I do not have the answers. I only share the questions that have come to me as I have contemplated for myself the direction my life will take in the next years.

My Dear Friend

These are questions I can share with a dear, dear friend of mine. We have traveled parts of this journey in the last decade that have been very difficult – separation, divorce, illness of a loved one, death, health challenges, caregiving – all heavy things that can bring you down and keep you down if you are alone.

Yet we have popped in and out of each other’s lives, there when needed. Simply knowing she is there is enough. It is the kind of relationship that perhaps you have in your life – one where you can call after weeks or months of non-contact, and talk as if you were continuing a conversation from yesterday.

She is a precious friend because she knows me. She doesn’t raise her eyebrows when I tell her about my connections with spirit. She doesn’t condemn me when I share my missteps. She doesn’t put me on a pedestal. She holds me close in her heart, and we walk side-by-side, as equals, facing the world and all its challenges on this life path.

Friends Who Help You Get Through It All

Recently I was describing such friendship to a young one going through a wrenching breakup. Do you remember how painful such separations can be? How did you get through it? Most probably you had a friend willing to listen to you as you floundered through to find your footing again. Whether that person is still in your life or not, they were there when you needed it most. Sometimes it’s like that, isn’t it? People come and go.

They say people come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. That is easier to see as we look back across the years at the ups and downs weathered along the way – after we’ve lived some of life and have experienced the “slings and arrows.” Some have been there and disappeared shortly after. Others have been there through many, many years before falling away. Still a very few remain with us, withstanding the test of time.

Heart of Hearts (partial) copyright 2002 Baylan Megino

“Heart of Hearts” (partial) copyright 2002 Baylan Megino

The Courage to Love and Be Love

It is easy to get jaded and close off, not wanting to be hurt or feel the pain of loss. Yet, to do so is to deny yourself the experiences of love and happiness and joy – the contrasts of which are anger, sadness, and pain. They are all felt to different degrees as a relationship progresses.

Over time I have become acutely aware of how we are all connected. I believe the HeartMath ™ folks look at Resonance. Others speak of the web of life. Yet others speak of the ripples we create that are felt throughout the world.

The point is that we are not here alone. Everything we do is felt by others, felt at the subtlest levels. Those who step forward and offer their witness and friendship are those who we hold close in heart and mind – They are that first or second circle to feel our ripples.

My Prayer for You

My prayer for you is that your life is rich with experiences that fill your heart and make you shine with joy. Some pebbles, even some rocks may get in your path. You will find your way past them.

Overall, I pray the road will stretch long before you and provide beautiful views of the many facets of who you are and the light that ONLY YOU can bring to the world. And may that light be witnessed by loving friends.

Blessings for Abundant Love and Peace,

Baylan


Contact Baylan for a complimentary 20-minute consultation at http://baylanmegino.com/contact/

 

How To Make A Vision Board with A Gentle Approach

I needed to make a vision board, so was pleased when a vision board workshop led by Dr. Leslie Hewitt popped into my world. Dr. Leslie is the CEO and Founder of The WOW Talks, so I knew I’d be in good hands.

Creating a Safe Space to Share

Yesterday the room was perfect for the small group to share our lives, our challenges and our visions – all pieces that one reviews to prepare for creating a vision board. Filled with light and windows to the world outside, doors open to allow flow and movement, and objects peaceful to the eye supported our inner process to come out into the open.

Most of us had attended a women’s luncheon a few months before, so I wasn’t in a room of complete strangers. It was comfortable to partner up and share what our current blocks were and our vision of the future.

Images and Words Bring Focus to the Vision

As Dr. Leslie quickstepped us through the curriculum of her powerful 2-day vision board workshop, our creative minds were stimulated into high gear. Perfect for the task at hand.

She had piles of magazines, many of which I hadn’t seen for more than 7 years. Words and phrases that had been wafting through my brain for weeks suddenly were on the page before me. Clip, clip, snip, shape.

The words gathered in a pile on the windowsill as I went through magazines on horses, travel destinations, investing, gardening, cooking, home decorating, science & technology – magazines from a life I had walked away from several years ago.

If Today Were The Last Day Of My Life Steve Jobs 07872 by Baylan Megino

If Today Were The Last Day Of My Life Steve Jobs 07872 by Baylan Megino

Another piece presented itself for healing

Last week my sharing with a dear friend centered around how my life seemed to be circling back around. The life which I had left was starting to show up again in different ways. In that former chapter of my life, the pieces that built up a certain lifestyle were embraced because they were new and different and the exploration was fun. At least that was what I thought.

It felt good to live a lifestyle of more ease and abundance, a life far from the financial struggle I grew up with. My deeper subconscious reasons for embracing this different life and the mechanism to maintain the lifestyle, however, soon unraveled the whole picture. But that’s for discussion another time.

Today I am a different person. My dreams and reasons are based more clearly on who I really am and what I really want and am here to do. I’m stepping into that world again, only this time with more of the real me in it, with clearer purpose, and for positive reasons.

No longer running away, I am striding toward.

Receive Abundant Resources by Baylan Megino

Receive Abundant Resource by Baylan Megino

Another Piece Reclaimed

Yesterday after I arranged the pictures and rearranged the words on the vision board to create my story and remind me of the pieces needed for my vision, one of the other women remarked, “I was watching. You were so organized in making it.”

I smiled in recognition. Years earlier a mentor had called me an

“Organizing Visionary”

– words I hadn’t thought of in quite some time. By hearing them again, another piece of my energy was brought onto the board without being seen.

One of Many Messages Received

So this morning when I opened my eyes, I saw the words,

"A Gentle Approach" on my vision board - Baylan Megino

“A gentle approach” on my vision board – by Baylan Megino

“A gentle approach”

and thought – “Isn’t that what the world needs today?”

So much around the world is in upheaval – governments, institutions, hurricanes, earthquakes, communities – the energy is tossing us around in a swirling bowl filled with the effects of humanity’s actions of the past.

We Are Challenged To Choose

We are challenged to choose: How to stand? Where do we stand? What do we stand for? What do we love enough that is important to keep close? What values are we most willing to fight for?

We must know these things as we move forward in life. Know that you are willing to fight if needed, yet take A Gentle Approach. Every mama bear watches its cub play with others, yet is ready to pounce at the first sign of danger.

Consider a Gentle Approach

Begin to act from love, because of love, with love. And be aware of timing.

What is the gentle, loving thing I can do? Change in the world begins within. Change begins to gain momentum with the acts big and small that we choose to do. We don’t always know the effects, but rest assured that every act sends its own ripples around that affect others.

Baylan Megino

Baylan Megino | Dream Maker | “Heart of Hearts”

Consider a gentle approach in creating goals. Creating my visionboard wasn’t a linear process. My thinking is not linear when determining Theme and Intentions. I take a more feminine approach because I know that things will get done. Really – is there a woman around who goes from point A to point B in a straight line?

For instance, last night I said I was headed to bed, ostensibly to sleep. Along the way I cleared the table, changed mom’s bedding, did the dishes, checked my social media accounts, chatted with a lovely young healer giving Osho Zen tarot readings, then fell asleep. Not a straight line by any stretch of the imagination. Yet I did get to bed and to sleep.

The Treasure is in the Journey

That’s really how life is, isn’t it? We start out in one direction, and along the way take side roads, detours, and shortcuts. Sometimes we change our desired destination.

Rather than see these as failures or missteps, let’s see these as opportunities for enrichment and growth. Ultimately, we end up where we choose, richer for the experiences gathered along the journey.

We Make a Vision Board to Remind Us of the
Desired Elements of The Vision as Destination

And that’s why vision boards are so important. They remind us of the desired elements of the vision as destination.

Taking a gentle approach that begins from love will shape our experiences of the entire journey along the way.

So go ahead and choose that Next Step on your path.

Take action toward your vision.

Build your momentum.

And let me know how it’s going.

I send you blessings on your way.

Baylan

Check out my next free webinar click HERE

 


Find out about the next Dream Maker workshop, or to request a Clarity session, visit http://www.baylanmegino.com/contact or send me a message on Facebook.

Have a Great Day!


 

Letting Go and The Bodhisattva’s Way

Letting Go to Heal

In the last week, so many things have been breaking open to be revealed, to be healed. I’ve been letting go — to open the space for the new to come in, for the light to shine even brighter.

Letting Go and Bodhisattva Way 16th Karmapa 08213 by Baylan Megino

Letting Go and Bodhisattva Way 16th Karmapa 08213 by Baylan Megino

Opening boxes to find treasures and trash from years ago. Surprises and jewels mixed amongst the mundane. A handwritten will, a talisman, a watch. Sifting and sorting to find what will come forward, what will be passed on, and what will be discarded entirely.

It is a process. It takes time. It breaks open old memories. The good memories are treasured. And the painful ones are offered to be healed.

Letting Go and Moving On

Of course, something electronic had to go. This time it was the refrigerator controller. It’s challenging and freeing being without a refrigerator for more than two weeks.

Had to figure out how to keep perishables from perishing. Or learn to live without.

There are many boxes to be gone through. It will take time. And I am being gentle with myself and with mom.

And as I am moving forward, I am thinking of how to incorporate these pieces into my new work. How do we take those parts of our past and make them meaningful building blocks for our future? Ahhhh….. yes.

So today a dear friend posted a message that spoke to my heart, reminding me of the reason we go on, despite challenges and seemingly insurmountable odds.

“You keep going. That is the bodhisattva’s way. As long as it benefits even one being you have to, without any sense of discouragement, go on.” – 16th Karmapa

And as I finished preparing this photo, a hummingbird swooped under the eaves, seeking refuge from the constant rain.

 

The Dream Maker in Winter

The Dream Maker in Winter is like the Bear – finishing the creation cycle by resting, gaining clarity in the dreamtime, gathering energy, and preparing for life in the spring.  Today I walked in my garden and was greeted by two very different things.

At the bottom of the stairs is my container garden. Right now it’s just pots of dormant orchid bulbs and succulents. We don’t get a regular hard frost here, so the succulents can survive winter without freezing.

Dream Maker Container Garden in Winter fb 02355 by Baylan Megino

Container Garden in Winter 02355 by Baylan Megino

These flowering plants do well in containers, providing beautiful flower spikes each year. They don’t require much tending, and only need to be in the filtered or light shade, away from the harsh bright light.

Their roots don’t need to spread wide and deep, and instead circle around inside the container before needing to be separated and cleaned.

If I go too long away from this contained garden, I sometimes miss the beautiful flowering branches of cymbidiums and have to wait another year to discover what color each plant will produce. And if I’m fortunate to see the flowers, I sometimes bring them indoors to be enjoyed, container and all.

February is the middle of winter and my garden is confused.
And that’s okay by me.

I look around the neighborhood and everyone’s front yard is so neat and nicely tended. The plantings have been strategically placed, and dog owners are careful to pull their pets away from lingering too long in one place.

And then there’s my home.

I grew up in gardens that were given free rein. My father annually pruned back rose stems and occasionally trimmed the fruit tree branches. He had areas kept neat for the vegetables, but a lot of the garden was allowed to spread unhindered.

So today the yellow flowers are growing wild, towering way above the 6” limit that the City prefers for “weeds.”  I enjoy the masses and mounds of clover-like leaves and the yellow cups floating above and closing at night.

Dream Maker: The Garden in February 2016 fb 02362 by Baylan Megino

The Garden in February 2016 fb 02362 by Baylan Megino

Beneath that green carpet I know there is dark, rich soil being nourished by green roots kept moist by the shade. I used to think of them as tiny shamrocks, in honor of my favorite Irish nun in 2nd grade.

They make me smile as they greet me when I come home each day. It is then that I take an audible cooling breath and gratefully exhale.

There’s even an area in front that sprouted some huge mushrooms that looked like shiitakes. They were attractive to some of the dogs, but someone promptly took them away one night.

My neighbors haven’t said anything to me, but I can hear the whispers in their minds as they walk by. Why don’t they keep those weeds under control? Cut that grass – it’s so long it’s bending down toward the earth! Those rose bushes should be cut back! That ivy and morning glory will invade the neighbor’s space – why aren’t they more considerate?

There is timing for everything as we make our dreams. In time, I will trim back the ivy and the morning glory vines.

In time the yellow flowers will finish their cycle and disappear. Then it will be easy to clear the space.

The grass… well, it’s just too close to the tiny shamrocks to cut without disturbing them. Grass will be cut in time.

I’m patient with my garden. And my garden is patient with me.

While I wait for the plants to finish their cycle, the fruit trees are going through theirs. Oranges are falling from the tree, and the apple and peach trees are preparing their leaves. I was told that one of the trees is a walnut — we’ll see if it decides to provide nuts this year. The brambleberries are silently preparing to bloom.

And so it is with life. In our winter season, we Dream Makers take time to go within and gather energy, to dream of what is next to be created.

There are so many choices. What is the fruit of our labor that we want to show the world? Which is The One for this next cycle?

What is the proper environment for them – pot or ground? Roots contained or free? How will we grow and get the fruits out to others to be consumed? Who do we want to enjoy the fruits of our labors?

How much effort are we willing to put forth toward harvest time? How much harvest do we want to reap?

And so it goes as we contemplate our dreams and plan to make them real.

The dream takes hold and sinks roots into the soil of our hearts,
fed as an expression of our deepest soul’s murmurings.

For the Dream Maker, each day the dream takes on more form. The harvest is chosen. The space makes way for the soil to be tilled, and the seeds to be planted. Remaining dead branches are pruned back so energy can be concentrated on new growth, new branches.

Our vision becomes clearer and we can see how the garden will look in the spring as the new leaves sprout. The dream takes shape as we imagine summer’s approach, perhaps already starting a second cycle that will grow alongside.

We see the profusion of green leaves waiting, preparing the way for the flowers and fruits to appear. We can feel the cycles of sunlight, moonlight, dew and rain.

We can feel the gentle breezes and insects doing their parts to spread the pollen and, when it’s time, share the seeds.

We have dreamed alive our bountiful garden — the garden nourishing us with beauty and oxygen and food and sacred space.

The Dream Maker sees all these things, and knows it all begins in the silence of winter.

 

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Blessings, light and peace,

Baylan

Dream: Finding Your Dream

Dreams come to us in infinite ways, and often in pieces. One evening many years ago I was sitting in a women’s circle after a full day’s work. With a gentle smile, the leader asked us, “What’s your dream?” I froze.

Dream? I didn’t have a dream. I had things I was supposed to do in order to be seen as a responsible adult.

“What does your heart desire?” she pressed on. Her words seemed to float in the air for me to consider.

My heart? My desire? MY Heart’s Desire? Unfathomable.

I had been raised to think only of what I had to do to help everyone else. Nowhere was it ever okay to think of just myself, to the exclusion of everyone else.

So I dutifully tried to focus on my physical heart. “What do you want?” I asked, expecting a quick, straightforward answer.

Silence.

I sighed and waited. At that point in my life, my heart wasn’t used to being asked any questions, or being given any attention.

Took a deep breath to calm and center myself, then ventured again. “What do you want?” I asked, as if my heart was separate from me.

Silence again.

As I waited, I listened to the other women share their dreams – simple dreams, heart-anchored dreams, loving dreams.

Then a single word came to me. “Peace.”

Ah, yes!…. That’s what my heart desired. Peace.

Finding Your Dream by Baylan Megino

Finding Your Dream by Baylan Megino

Today I know that dreams often come to me in pieces, as words and phrases and images that catch my attention, or float in and out of my awareness.

I have to pay attention, or they could fly past me without notice.

Sometimes these help me to see what I DON’T want, so I can zero in on what I DO want.

These in turn are pieces and threads that, once woven together into a design I like, reveal the dream wanting my full focus.

So listen. See what is brought to your attention, and piece together the dream you are here for.

Let me know in the Comments below how you access your life dreams.

Blessings and Abundant Light,

Baylan Megino