The Entrepreneur’s Journey is not a straight path. Anais Nin wrote, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
My life had a fairly straightforward beginning, and the American Dream was the lifestyle I was encouraged to build. By my early 30’s, I had the loving husband with a steady job, a family, a comfortable home, the cars, the great job. I even had community involvement under my belt.
But something was not right.
My normally happy, calm outlook had become spiked with occasional fits of temper, which confused me.
I sought help in understanding what was happening, and started seeing a counselor. Those sessions helped me to see myself and my situation with clearer vision and understanding.
LIfe had become an endless round of work – home – work – home – community – work … of fulfilling roles, obligations and duties.
At one point in my life, I had sought refuge and solace in attending Mass every morning before attending classes. The calm, the routine structure, the expansive space, and the connection to God fed me deeply.
But at this point, my spiritual and life had become almost non-existent, because I was so busy taking care of everyone and everything else that I thought was important.
Wrong. It wasn’t working for me.
It was time for a major change, and managing relationship change was something that I was absolutely, positively not equipped for. After all, my mother married the man who took her on her first date! Though they remained faithfully married until his death 60 years later, I did not learn a healthy way to handle conflict in relationships.
The counseling sessions helped open the door for me to step back and start at Ground Zero — to look inside to find my thoughts and need for expression. Through painting and sculpture I discovered a hidden world within that showed me my feelings and the inner terrain of my being.
Through sharing I learned that I had something of value to express in the silence. Through writing I started to hear my own voice and to value the power of the word.
And through dance I had always been able to access my inner knowing.
I had opened the door to start exploring my life, to understand what I was all about and what I had built. Once that door was open, how I saw the world and how I navigated each moment would never be the same.
The tightly bound bud was starting to unfurl her petals.